Hugh Laurie, Common Sense, and the Lesser of Two Evils: My Manifesto*

I have realized lately that I kind of view my body as a science experiment. By that I mean I like to test out the effect various substances have on it. In that I am much like Hugh Laurie's character Gregory House, who does things like taking unapproved drugs for muscle regrowth and then has to cut tumors out of his own leg. However, I only consider risk-free beneficial substances for my experimentation. For example, I don't test what effect antidepressants have on me because I am A) not depressed and B) aware of the numerous detrimental side effects of antidepressants, and I have no desire to experience them.

But I like to see how long I can stay out in the sun and not burn. Like I said, last year it was a lot. This year, not so much. My first two conclusions were that either the sun was hotter (which maybe means it is getting closer) or that I didn't build up enough of a base tan early in the year because A) it was cold and B) I have been planning my wedding and I'm busier than a New Yorker. However, further research led me to conclude (in a recent post) that I was deficient in vitamin B. So I started taking it. And while I have gotten a little red on occasion, I have not peeled at all.

Now, the not peeling could be due to the fact that I've also been putting on lots of aloe cream (making sure it has no unnecessary chemicals in it—I like Burt's Bees After Sun Soother and Alba Botanica's Kona Coffee After-Sun Lotion, which I tried because Whole Foods was out of Burt's Bees for an entire weekend! Not cool). So you see, my scientific experimentation on my body is not very scientific. But it is a lot of fun. And as far as I know vitamin B and aloe can't hurt you, and if they do it's the reversible kind of discomfort rather than some horrible debilitating disease that shuts down your organs. And as for the sun being harmful, read my post "An Apple a Day Keeps the…Sunburn Away?"

My dad also recently challenged me on statistics to back up my support of the claim that America is the sickest richest nation. While I've found many statistics and trends that support this claim, at least in my mind, I've also realized that my view of health has a whole lot of belief involved in it—to an almost religious degree. Now, I don't replace spiritual practice with alternative health care. In fact, I think a relationship with God is absolutely essential to my health, physical and otherwise. But I do have an affiliation to just believe alternative health claims. This may sound naïve, and I'm sure it is to a certain extent, but hear me out. I have two very logical reasons for this:

1. Common Sense. I may be lacking common sense in some areas (like how to put together furniture from Ikea or which way is East and which is West), but it makes sense that things that have been around for thousands of years (like the sun and plants and, yes, animal meat) are good for us. Unreservedly good? No, of course not. But a whole lot better than genetically modified, preserved, or artificial substitutes. Same with drugs. Why would you take a prescription chemical when you can try herbs or acupuncture or exercise? Well, because your doctor told you it was the only option. Well, it's not.
2. Lesser of Two Evils. The instances of people being actually permanently harmed or killed by alternative medicine practices or by eating whole foods are quite rare. Yes, people do stupid things without following the directions, and yes, there are quacks out there. But the instances of people being harmed by modern medical practice are not only scientific fact, they are rampant. If there is controversy over whether some newfangled drug or procedure or diet is good for you, then I don't want to be on the wrong side of that. I am not a guinea pig for Big Pharma or the government or health insurance companies that won't pay for alternative, less invasive, preventive procedures. I am a guinea pig for myself.

Generally, if someone is making a lot of money off something new, I don't trust it. I realize that this makes me susceptible to a medical form of Ludditism. However, I also apply it to fads in the alternative health industry. I do not put much stock in superfoods. I don't try to figure out a way to eat mila. I was very suspicious of coconut oil for a long time simply because it was popular. (However, it does seem to be very, very good for you.) And I felt so justified when agave nectar turned out to be not so very good for you.

Now, when you combine Common Sense with Lesser of Two Evils, you can really get somewhere. For example, the corn industry claims that high fructose corn syrup is safe because it's been FDA approved for 40 years. Well, what has happened in the past 40 years? Heart disease, cancer, diabetes, and stroke are on the rise; we have rates of obesity we never dreamed of, and we now have a whole category of diabetes to include children. Is that a good track record? Um, no.

I'm not saying that HFCS is totally or even primarily responsible for obesity, or that any new technology or development is solely responsible for our poor health as a nation. But these are all part of a system that has been introduced into our society in the last century, and the results are not good. This system includes GM foods, mass production of meat and dairy using hormones, chemicals and preservatives added to our foods, fast food, soda, the development of food substitutes, and prescription drugs. These things, at first glance, appear to improve our quality of life—and they do, for a short time, on the surface. Then the consequences begin, and sometimes they are devastating. And rarely is the responsibility placed where it belongs. It is the result of a quick fix, instant gratification mindset that is the seedy underbelly of capitalism and affluence—neither of which are bad in and of themselves.

But when the government starts blaming the sun for skin cancer, I get really mad. And when there are walks and fundraisers to find a cure for cancer, I want to scream, "The cure is prevention!" And when I hear of someone else in their thirties or forties who is taking blood pressure medication, which is a main ingredient in rat poison and which prevents you from eating leafy greens, I want to march on Washington. None of which helps. And none of which is to judge or criticize people who get sick or want to support a cause. No one gets sick because they deserve it. We do get sick because we are being told so many lies, even by the government that is supposed to protect us, and because billions of dollars are being spent yearly psychologically convince us that we need foods and drugs and lifestyles that do nothing but harm us.

And so, once again, we must take personal responsibility. When it comes to health and nutrition, question what you are told. Do some research. Get a second opinion. Try a little common sense.

But remember—disclaimer—do nothing without consulting your doctor first.

*I'd like to dedicate the title of this blog to my bestest friend and fabulous fashion blogger Emily Crews, who inspires me with her creative blog titles. (You should check out her blog Sartoriography.)