Reader Question: The Psychology of Coffee Shops (How Labels Can Wreak Havoc on Your Eating Habits)

I was thrilled to receive a reader question by e-mail this past week!

"Like most freelancers, I spend a lot of time working out of coffee shops, which instinctively means coffee in every form, with a muffin, cookie or other piece of bakery goodness on the side. Thankfully, I spend time at the gym too, although lately my schedule has negated my workout and I've really noticed the pounds piling on.

"Any tips for picking out healthier options or tips to keep the weight off with my crazy schedule?"

Actually, I was dismayed to receive this question because I don't know the answer. I have spent most of my adult years loving coffee shops, coffee, and muffins. When I go into Starbucks, I don't want tea.

Then, my optimism was renewed. I realized, I don't go into Starbucks anymore because their coffee tastes burned and their pastries are frozen, and I actually find the smell of the store kind of nauseating since working there in college. (Although they still make the best Americano I've found yet.)

I also must admit that, yes, I do go for tea now about 60% of the time. This has been a huge change wrought from tears and sleepless nights—why can't I stop drinking coffee when it makes me feel so terrible (racing heart, near panic attacks, etc.)?

The thing is, coffee shops are a lifestyle, just like freelancing, just like wine bars or expensive restaurants or dives. We identify ourselves based on these trappings. Our subconscious mental script is "I am the kind of person who..." Drinks wine when she cooks, just like the sexy, cosmopolitan women on TV. Is too tough for decaf. Can drink my friends under the table. Shouldn't have to try to be skinny. Fill in the blank.

Do any of these reasons sound ridiculous to you? That's because they are. Yet they have all floated through my head at some point (and occasionally still do).

So the first thing to do is realize your mental subscript. What labels are you identifying yourself with? In the case of this reader, she is a freelancer. Perhaps her subscript is that freelancing about long, dogged hours without rest or home-cooked food, pushing herself to the limits of her stamina, working instead of eating, and then eating whatever is available without being too particular because she's starving. Or perhaps she like the social aspect of meeting in coffee shops with other freelances, and she doesn't want to lose touch with those people or be seen as aloof because she's trying to take care of herself.

The second step is the tough part. Start to change this mental subscript. We unconsciously label ourselves because it makes us feel safe, defined: we live in a world of labels--male, female, heterosexual, homosexual, grad student, soccer mom, husband, wife, partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, CEO, freelancer, you name it--and some part of us likes to fit into those categories.

I was obsessed for a while about what my job title would be. I didn't like "health counselor"; it was too vague. It took me a while to come up with "food therapist," but I love it! It is a label that empowers and nurtures me, and hopefully communicates some of what I do.

However, labels always have some kind of positive and negative connotations. Become aware of what labels you identify with and their positive and negative lifestyle traits. And then create your own definition of the label you choose to include taking care of yourself in whatever ways you need to.

Here are some practical ways to do this:

• Make the gym less intimidating and shorten your workout. Burning some calories is better than burning none at all. Interval workouts maximize calorie burn in minimum time. Or consider a yoga routine; I often find that doing yoga reduces my desire for sugar and caffeine.
  
• Be sure to eat breakfast. No arguing. If you are full of a black bean breakfast wrap and a banana, you're going to be a lot less likely to order a cheese danish in an hour or so.
  
• If you don't have an office, work and hold meetings in casual restaurants and cafes instead of coffee shops. That way you can choose to order healthier meals that are providing you some nutritional value.
• Quality, not quantity. Get the small mocha, but order it full fat. The higher fat content will satisfy you emotionally and physically for longer. Go for smaller cookies or pastries, and if they don't have anything small, break it in half and throw half away. Seriously, it all tastes the same after the first bite.
• Order a water with your beverage of choice. Water flushes toxins from your system. Drinking a glass of water for every caffeinated beverage will slow you down and keep you hydrated.
  
• Eat some variety. If you're craving sugar and caffeine, chances are you are out of balance nutritionally. Making sure to either cook or find a restaurant that provides dark leafy greens like kale and whole grains like quinoa as often as possible during the week.
• Make lunch your main meal. If you're out during the day, going from breakfast meeting to coffee chat to lunch with coworkers to afternoon client rendezvous, switch your main calorie intake from dinner to lunch.
  
• Evaluate primary food. What problems do your job create in taking care of yourself? What creative ways can you change or address them? Are you more important than your job or clients? Absolutely. If you are sick, tired, or just not feeling your best, who's going to complete your projects?
  

Lastly, don't try to do this alone. Enlist in the help and support of friends, and if you just aren't seeing results, get professional help. Of course, I always recommend my food therapy program, which can help you identify the areas of your life that are holding you back from living at your best.

Another great option is an acupuncturist. Many acupuncturists are trained in Chinese herbal medicine and can identify the sources of your imbalances and cravings. My acupuncturist, Amy Jo Gengler of Re-Soul in Charleston, has been hugely instrumental in reducing my dependency on caffeine.

OK, that's it for this very long post! What are your strategies for staying healthy throughout the workday?